Actor Paallavii Chatterjee opens up about why admitting “I’m not okay” can still feel difficult, and how she deals with the scrutiny that comes with being a public figure. She feels one of the reasons people hesitate to speak about their struggles is because those struggles are deeply personal. She believes there is often an expectation that others will understand or solve what one is going through, when ultimately, the responsibility lies with the individual.

“It’s always difficult because your problems, your unhappiness, or your struggles are yours. Nobody cares and why do you want to exhibit it?” she said.

She feels that dealing with personal problems often requires looking inward rather than seeking an audience. “It’s always better that you deal with your own problems,” she added.

For her, opening up doesn’t necessarily mean that a solution will follow. She believes people often have to work through their problems themselves. “Nobody can solve it,” she said, adding “It’s your thing, you have to clean it and you have to deal with it.”

That is also why she understands why someone might choose to say they are okay rather than openly admit they are struggling. “We don’t need sympathies because sympathies are not solution. One should actually feel and think towards positive energy and try to get a solution,” she said.

Being in the public eye also means dealing with opinions from strangers, and Paallavii believes criticism is something public figures have to accept along with appreciation. “If you are public figure, when you can accept appreciation you should also have the mental capacity to accept criticism. Criticism in a healthy way is always good,” she added.

Social media, however, has changed the nature of that criticism, with opinions often coming from people who have no personal connection with the person being discussed.

“Criticism on social media and all that is happening nowadays, because who’s writing what about you is irrelevant. We don’t even know who those people are,” she said.

Her approach is different when the criticism comes from someone whose opinion she genuinely values. In those cases, she believes it is worth considering whether there is something constructive behind the comments.

“Somebody who is very relevant and writes something really bad that affects your mental peace, you should either look at it and see whether that person has criticized you for your good,” she said.

“If a person is a well-wisher, they will never go public and criticize you. He or she might tell you at your face, listen, I think your get-up was not right, or this thing was not right or what you did is not right,” she added.

Public ridicule, in her view, is where that line is crossed. “He will never be ridiculed in public if he or she is a well-wisher. If he or she is not a well-wisher, I’m sure you should just edit that person from your life to keep your mental peace,” Paallavii said.